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8 Planning Tips To Make Sure You Have A Smooth And Perfect Wedding Day

Organising a wedding ceremony is not an easy task. It takes a lot of time and efforts of all the people involved in a wedding, to make it a successful event. And sometimes, even after so much of pre-planning, there can be certain issues that might occur at the last moment and give panic attacks to the bride.

Well, if you are wondering how you can avoid any of the ‘last moment’ nerve-wrecking issues on your wedding day, then here is a complete guide for you to make sure everything happens just perfectly.

#1. Chart out the time table

Coming late for your own functions is not really a good way to start the celebrations. Make sure you get ready in advance and if possible, always keep some buffer time so that there are no delays.

Accordingly, take appointments from your salon, estimate the time it will take you to get ready, etc., and write it somewhere for your record. This will ensure that you do not miss out anything important.

#2. Designate someone to collect gifts

Few things might appear trivial in nature, but doing them in advance can easily save you from the last minute chaos. And one such thing is, assigning someone to take care of the gifts received during the wedding. Yes, if you will leave this for the last moment, then it might get really troublesome for you to find a responsible person free for this task.

So, allot this work to someone among your friends or family members, and inform him about the same. It is better to inform everyone well in advance about their responsibilities, so that even they can make the required arrangements.

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Apart from the perpetual phase of stress, the entire process of an arranged marriage can be easily divided into several phases. No matter how excruciatingly long and tiring it may seem, every phase has a charm of its own. And, needless to say, the two main people involved in this whole process really do enjoy all of these phases.

So, let us figure out the entire process of a typical Indian arranged marriage in some identifiable phases.

#1 Dreams vs Reality

The biggest hurdle of any marriage is the right picture of a partner. For instance, any guy would desire Aishwarya Rai, and a girl would want no less than Hrithik Roshan. However, it is important to set realistic goals and set the right criterion for your spouse!

Right from physical appearance, social status, values to career path, you need to focus on every parameter before you embark on spouse hunt! Also, focus more on the character and nature of a person rather than looks. Looks don't matter in the long-run, but compatibility does!

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Indian couples are HONEYMOONING in style

WHAT use is a fairytale wedding if you haven’t planned an equally mind-blowing honeymoon to back it up? The Indian travellers, it appears, are getting as adventurous and exploratory in honeymoons as they are with weddings. Gone are the days when you would pack your bags for the nearest hill station or a custom- made package in Europe.

New generation honeymooners seek the unique experience that they want to remember for the rest of their life.

“Last year, we saw a 25-30 per cent growth for both domestic and international honeymoon bookings,” says Mohit Gupta, Chief Business and Marketing Officer, MakeMyTrip. “ New destinations like Greece, Seychelles, Australia, Spain, Bhutan and South Africa are emerging as favourites. Domestically, we are witnessing increased bookings this year for leisure destinations like the North- East and Coorg.” Other domestic destinations that our intrepid lovebirds are warming up to are Havelock Island that lies to the east of Andaman, Valparai in Pollachi, Rann of Kutch and Orchha in Madhya Pradesh. Rajeev Kale, President and Chief Operating Officer, MICE, Domestic & Sports Tourism, Thomas Cook India, is of the opinion that couples want their honeymoon to be as distinct as possible.

“We have witnessed new-age couples seeking engaging, distinctive and fun destinations. So be it self-drive holidays, wildlife trails and jungle safaris, exhilarating activity like rappelling, white water rafting, ice climbing, kayaking or paragliding, adventure seems to be the flavour of the season. We have also created unique experiences like undersea walking in the Andamans, Malabar cuisine learning at Wayanad, elephant safaris at Amber Fort, Jaipur, nature treks in the Himalayas ( Kausani), tiger safaris at Corbett, Kalairipaytu at Munnar and Ayurvedic spa therapy in the Nilgiris,” he adds.

Luxury is another important category that Indian newlyweds like to explore.

As Shibani Phadkar, Senior Vice-President & Head, Leisure Travel Outbound, Products, Contracting, Operations & Tour Management, Thomas Cook (India), says, “Our luxury product, 'Indulgence', has seen strong uptake for truly spectacular experiences, like luxury tented stays at Wahiba Sands, Oman; Swiss mountain dining with spectacular views over the valley; Romance New Zealand style via spas and glacier hot pools; private night yacht or cruiser in Australia or a romantic Jacuzzi at 3,000 metres up just next to the glacier at St Moritz.” Domestic or international, Indian honeymooners are great planners. Says Gupta of MakeMyTrip, “For domestic bookings, we have seen advance booking by at least 90 days. For international short-haul destinations, bookings are made 30- 45 days in advance, while for long haul it’s 45-60 days in advance.” So, if you are still sticking to the age-old honeymoon plans, it is time to let go and choose one that is in vogue now.

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6 Quick And Brilliant Tricks For Brides To Lose Weight

Losing weight is not an easy task! And trying to do so with just a few months to go before your wedding day, can be a real task. Sparing even some time for a workout amid the hustle and bustle of the marriage preparations, can be difficult sometimes. Eating a healthy breakfast, drinking plenty of water and eating small meals to burn those extra calories, do help in losing weight. Yet, there are some more tricks that can help you to lose weight real quick.
Simply incorporate these smart tricks in your daily routine, and you will definitely get in shape before your big day. These tips will surely help you achieve your goal. So, follow them diligently to burn fat and lose weight faster.

#1. Pop vitamin D

You might be surprised, but yes, even popping vitamin D can help you to shed weight. Get your vitamin D levels checked and if you are deficient, start having your vitamin D daily. Too little vitamin D in the blood may interfere with the functioning of leptin, a hormone that signals to your brain that you are full, and need to stop eating. Replenishing vitamin D helps restore leptin's normal 

#2. Eat vitamin C-rich foods

Eat grapes, kiwis, oranges, tomatoes, or any other fruits and vegetables that are a rich source of vitamin C. These foods burn body fat into fuel, leading to weight loss.

#3. Eat whole grains

Instead of eating refined foods like white bread and rice, opt for brown rice, chapati, brown bread, oats, muesli or any other whole grain to burn fat. These grains make you feel full in fewer calories, so you tend to consume less food.

#4. Add iron-rich foods to your diet

Iron is important for weight loss as your body needs iron to produce red blood cells, which are required to oxygenate and burn fat and calories. Eat at least three to four servings of foods rich in iron, such as chicken, beans, fortified cereal, soy nuts, shell fish, eggs, spinach, etc., if you do not want a sluggish metabolism.

#5. Chew your food at least 40 times

If you are a quick eater and chew your food just a few times before swallowing it, then it is time to change this habit. This way you end up consuming more food, without even realising it. Instead, slow down and chew your food at least 40 times, before swallowing it. Even research has proved that the more you will chew, the more your body will produce hunger supressing peptide hormones. As a result, you will feel full soon and will not overeat.

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5 Signs that You May Have an Anger Problem

Anger isn’t a bad emotion. However, the behaviors that people exhibit when they feel angry can make it a problem. Anger problems are at the root of many marital issues.
Sometimes people aren’t aware that their anger is a problem (but often others around them are). The extent of an anger problem can be based on the intensity and the frequency of angry outbursts. Anger always becomes a problem when it starts to interfere with everyday life.
1.  Relationship Problems
If you’re an angry person, it’s likely that you often get what you want but the consequence is that people won’t like you very much. For example, if you are rude to a waiter at a restaurant, it may get you a little better service. However, he’s not going to give you better service because he is pleased to have you as a customer. Instead, he’s only giving you better service so you won’t yell or behave rudely anymore.
This can be true in close relationships as well. Perhaps your family does what you ask. But, this may be due to their attempts to avoid one of your outbursts rather than out of love. For example, your mother-in-law may agree to only inviting half the family to a family event because she knows if she invites everyone, you’ll complain and threaten not to show up. So in an attempt to avoid hearing it, she does what you ask.
And anger can also cause lots of marriage problems. When one person has an anger problem, often the other spouse feels like she’s walking on eggshells. It can be difficult to ask for help if you know your spouse is going to yell, scream or throw an adult-sized temper tantrum. It can also be hard to speak up to your spouse when you disagree if you think he’s going to be upset so perhaps you stay quiet to avoid angering him. These sorts of things can keep the peace during the short-term but will cause relationship problems over the long-term. 
2.  Work Problems 
Anger can sometimes lead to work-related problems. Quitting jobs frequently, getting written up by your boss, or having co-workers complain about your attitude and behavior can all be signs of anger management issues. Sometimes people say things to customers or co-workers out of anger. At other times jealousy and anger can fuel a person to sabotage a co-worker.
3. Health problems
When people don’t deal with anger in healthy ways it can cause physical health problems. People who are chronically angry tend to have higher levels of stress hormones within their body and this can have damaging effects over time.
There are numerous research articles about the negative effects of anger on health.OhioStateUniversity’s study entitled “The Influence of Anger Expression on Wound Healing,” found that people who struggle to regulate their anger tended took longer to heal from wounds.
There are numerous other studies showing that anger problems can cause breathing problems and can cause a person’s health to decline faster as they age. Anger problems can even have an impact on an adolescent’s physical health.
4.  You Aren’t Enjoying Daily Activities 
People who are chronically stressed and angry often lose out on enjoyment of everyday activities. Everyday stresses like waiting in line at the store or being stuck in traffic can incite a lot of anger and even rage for people with anger management problems.
People with anger management problems sometimes have difficulty putting things into perspective. Instead of being able to recognize that there are millions of cars on the road and some of them will cut in front of you, they often view it as a personal attack. They may think people are out to get them or assume that they are somehow being wronged in life.
5.   You Become Aggressive
Aggression takes many forms. Acts of physical aggression can range from slamming your fist down a table to throwing something at someone to outright hitting someone. But aggression doesn’t have to be physical.
Verbal aggression includes name calling, making threats or trying to intimidate someone. Sometimes just a look you give to someone can be aggressive if you are doing it in an attempt to try and bully the other person into doing something.
Aggression can also include passive-aggressive behavior. For example, giving your spouse the silent treatment as a punishment because you are angry is passive-aggressive. Or slamming the doors to the cabinets while you are in the kitchen to let your spouse know you are angry is another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
When people are passive-aggressive, they don’t communicate their feelings directly but often try to punish or gain sympathy indirectly. Passive-aggressive people also may try to secretly sabotage their spouse’s efforts. For example, agreeing to go to a social event but then feigning an illness to get out of it.

What to do When You’re Thinking About Ending the Marriage

If you’ve found yourself straddling the fence and it feels like your only two options are to stay in an unsatisfying relationship or get divorced, it’s a tough place to be. It’s also a critical time where your immediate actions can make a big difference to the outcome of your marriage.  Hopefully, the third option is to improve your marriage and enjoy your relationship once again.
Examine What Needs to Change
You can’t fix the problem until you’ve really taken the time to identify what the problem is. Simply deciding, “I’m just not happy,” doesn’t offer much of an opportunity to fix the problem. However, if you can identify concrete reasons why you aren’t happy, it’ll be a much better start.
Make a list of what would need to change for you to feel more satisfied in your relationship. Do you need more affection? Do you want more independence? Do you want to feel more emotionally connected to your spouse? Try to make the list as specific as possible.
Communicate Your Needs
Talk to your spouse when you are both calm and have plenty of time to talk. Bringing up your dissatisfaction in the midst of a heated dispute will only make things worse. Instead, talk to your partner about scheduling a time for the two of you to talk.
Have an open and honest conversation with your spouse, but do so in non-blaming manner. Use lots of “I” statements. Instead of saying, “You never spend time with me,” try, “I’d love for us to find more time to spend together.”
Focus on listening more than you talk. Showing your spouse that you are open to ideas and suggestions can go a long way to making the conversation a successful one. Avoid making threats or ultimatums that send the message, “Do this or else.” Otherwise, you’re likely to get your partner on the defensive and if you’re not prepared to follow through, you’re empty threats will have only damaged the marriage more.
Focus on Changes You can Make
You can’t force your partner to change. You can however, focus on changes that are within your control. Your energy is much better spent focusing on changing your behavior. If you make some changes, the result might be that your partner chooses to change.
Set daily goals for yourself. Your goal might be as simple as, “I’m going to smile, hug my spouse before I leave to work, and concentrate on not being irritable toward him today.” Or maybe you’re going to try to behave more affectionately toward your spouse. If you have a goal each day, it can help you to focus on what is within your control in the marriage.
Reduce Distractions and Outside Influences
If you’re straddling the fence about whether or stay in the marriage or leave, the last thing you need is outside influences distracting you. Well-meaning friends and family sometimes offer lots of advice and words of wisdom. However, this can distract you from your goals if you’re not careful.
A friend who says, “If he hasn’t changed by now he’s never going to change,” could influence your attitude toward your marriage. Or a mother who frequently says, “You can always stay here,” might also give you that extra push to go out the door before you’re really ready.
Sometimes another potential love interest can also offer a distraction. If you’re having an affair, it’s going to cloud your judgment about your marriage. It’s impossible to focus on your marriage if you’re involved with someone else.
But it doesn’t even necessarily have to be a sexual affair for it to be a distraction. Emotional affairs can also cloud your judgment. If you’ve been talking a lot to a co-worker or confiding in a special friend about things that you don’t talk to your spouse about, it can mean that your energy is being displaced.
If you have people, or even work or hobbies, that are distracting you from focusing on your marriage, it’s important to reduce or eliminate those distractions. If you want your marriage to improve, it needs to be a priority in your life.  You’ll need to be able to put your energy and attention into the marriage without distractions from outside influences.
Don’t Stay to Justify Leaving
Sometimes people stay in the marriage after they’ve come to the conclusion they will leave, just to justify their decision. They might provoke their partner on purpose at times or start fights so they can feel better about the fact that the marriage isn’t working out and it’s okay to leave.
If you’re 99 percent certain you are going to leave, it’s likely that you’ll look at your partner’s actions in a different light. You’ll likely interpret your spouse’s words and behaviors as proof that the marriage is going to end. It’s also likely to change your behavior. You might be less kind, less affectionate and more irritable, which can evoke more unpleasant behavior from your spouse, which will further justify your efforts to want to leave.
Put energy into improving the relationship instead of looking for reasons to end it. Try looking for reasons why you should stay or proof that if you work on things, you can make it better. If you put your energy into fixing things rather than looking for reasons why you should leave, you can make a difference.
Seek Professional Help
Marriage counseling can help you find ways to revitalize and improve your relationship. You can meet with a marriage counselor by yourself, if you aren’t sure what to do or if counseling is right for you. Ask questions and learn more about what a counselor can offer you and your marriage.

10 Little Changes that Can Make a Big Impact on Your Marriage

1. Treat Your Bedroom Like a Romantic Retreat
The ambiance in your bedroom can either spark romance or put out any passionate fires. If you’ve got a child sleeping between you, clothes piled up to the ceiling or sheets that haven’t been replaced in a decade, you’re not likely going to feel an air of romance when you enter the room.  Many couples who take great pride in all other areas of their homes tend to neglect the master bedroom. However, if you want to spark some romance, put energy into fixing up and cleaning the master bedroom. A little paint on the walls, some new sheets and a lot of organizing can go a long way to putting the mood back in the bedroom.
2.  Schedule a Date Night Each Week
If you don’t schedule a date night, it’s not likely to happen. Commitments with friends, obligations with family or other excuses can easily get in the way. However, if you don’t make the time to nourish your relationship on a regular basis, it can be harmful. For some couples, it works best to pick a night each week to make date night. For other couples, it makes more sense to sit down with a calendar and determine when they can make it happen each week. If money is tight, remember you can get creative and find many free or low cost activities that will offer plenty of opportunities to have fun and grow together as a couple.
3.  Set a Goal for Your Marriage Each Day
Imagine what could happen if you woke up each day with a goal for your marriage. You could do some great work. And they wouldn’t even have to be big goals. Instead, making a conscious decision each day to do something kind or spend quality time with your spouse can go a long way. Even saying, “I’m going to find three positive things to say to my spouse,” or “I’m not going to be irritable today,” can help you stay focused.
4.  Focus on What You Contribute Not What You Gain
Take a look at what you are contributing to your marriage each day. Instead of focusing on what your partner hasn’t done for you or what’s not working, only focus on what you are doing to grow the marriage. If you focus on making life easier for your spouse, you’ll have less time to focus on how the marriage is making your life more difficult.
5.  Turn Off Distractions
If you’ve ever said, “Yup,” without having any idea what your spouse actually said, it’s a sign that you probably tune your spouse out. If your spouse’s voice seems to blend into the background, it can cause a lot of communication problems. Get focused and turn off distractions. Shut off the TV, put down your laptop and stop texting while you’re attempting to listen.
6.  Pay Attention to Behaviors More than Feelings
Pay attention to what you do more than how you feel. Just think about how your attendance would be at work if you only went in on the days that you felt like working. If you’re like most people, your attendance record might look pretty sparse. However, if you value your pay check and don’t want to get fired, you likely go to work even on the days when you don’t want to. Imagine if you treated your marriage the same. Instead of only helping your spouse when you felt like or only behaving affectionately when you wanted to, you did it anyway because you value your marriage.
7.  Treat Your Spouse Better than Anyone Else
Think of how you treat your spouse on your worst days. When you’re in a bad mood or aren’t happy with your spouse’s behavior, what do you do? Sadly, spouses often seem to get the short end of the stick. If you’ve had a bad day at work, you’re stressed out or you’re mad at your spouse, it doesn’t give you permission to behave badly.  Spouses should get treated better than your boss, your friends, your in-laws and strangers yet sometimes we’re on our best behavior with those people and not our spouses.
8.  Listen More than You Speak
Talking too much and not listening can wreak havoc on communication. Remember, you have two ears and only one mouth for a reason. Practice active listening to really hear what your spouse has to say. Ask questions, show interest and give your spouse the floor.
9.  Offer Words of Encouragement
Sometimes criticism comes more easily than encouragement. However, you should be your spouse’s biggest fan in life. The world can be a difficult place and your spouse needs your support. Offer words of genuine praise and encouragement each and every day.
10. Remember the Good Times
Marriage isn’t going to be a picnic every day. However, remembering the good times can drum up lots of positive and loving feelings. Take time to talk about your happy memories, whether it’s a vacation you enjoyed, a fun adventure you went on, when your children were born or a time in your life that makes you smile. Look at pictures together as well and take a stroll down memory lane often and remember to work on creating new happy memories as well.

How Do You Determine The Health Of Your Relation

Have you ever considered how to determine how good or healthy your marriage is? There isn’t a lab test or a thermometer that gives you a reading to tell you how you are doing. So, how do people know if their marriage is healthy or not?

Unfortunately, for some people, they have no idea what their own determining factors would be, say nothing about their spouse’s determining factors. Sometimes people are completely blown away when their spouse mentions divorce. They thought things were going just fine, but apparently their spouse didn’t. It is important to examine how you would know if your marriage is good or bad and to see if these things are in line with your spouse’s view of the relationship.

I’m Happy so It Must Be Good

Some people judge their marital satisfaction based on their happiness with their life in general. They think, “If I’m happy then my marriage must be good.” Their sources of happiness may be their work, extended family, or other external factors and they assume is going well.

We’re Weathering the Good Times and the Bad

Other people don’t think that happiness equates to marital satisfaction. Instead, they look for how they are handling the bad times. If they are taking the good and the bad and making it through together, they assume their marriage is in a good place. The general thinking is that if my spouse is here for me when I’m dealing with grief, tragedy and problems, we must have a good marriage.

We Have Fun Together

There are couples who really enjoy one another’s company and they like doing a lot of activities together. They gauge their marital satisfaction based on how much fun they are having. Going on fun dates, exciting vacations, and finding new adventures mean they are over all satisfied with their marriage.

We’re Accomplishing Things Together

Accomplishments can signal happiness for some people. They think that if they have children, a nice house, enough money, and all their goals are being reached, their marriage must be a good thing. They credit their success to having a good marriage and think things must be good if they are doing well.

Behavior or Feeling?

It’s important to take a look at whether you determine the health of your marriage based on feelings or behaviors. For some people, they just feel good, feel lovingly toward their spouse and feel their spouse loves them. For these people, they just feel like their marriage is good.

For others, it is based more on behaviors. If their spouse does the chores, buys them presents or gives them attention, they feel like their marriage is good. They also feel like the best way to show their love is to do things for their spouse.

Most people believe in determining the health of their relationship based on a combination of feelings and behaviors. For example, my marriage is good when we are helping each other and when we help each other, we feel more love between us. The good news is, you can behave lovingly even when you don’t feel like it and these behaviors can change how you feel.

Find Out Your Spouse’s Thoughts about Marriage Health

Find out your spouse’s definition of a healthy, satisfying marriage. You may find that it differs slightly from yours. Men and women’s brains work differently. They think and feel things in different ways. So therefore, their definitions of a successful relationship may vary.

Ask your spouse’s opinion on the current state of your marriage. Don’t let your spouse get away with something like “it’s alright.” Find out what that means. Ask what a great marriage looks like.

Set Goals for Yourselves

Once you compare notes on the state of your marriage, discuss what types of things would make your marriage better. These can be small things, like “kissing me goodnight” or “greeting me when I come in the door.” Try to set some goals for yourselves that are realistic and obtainable.

Identify one small thing you can start doing for your spouse regularly that would make your spouse feel like the marriage was better. Offer one thing your spouse can do for you. Keep communicating about the state of your marriage and how healthy or unhealthy you feel it is and make adjustments as necessary.

Have you ever considered how to determine how good or healthy your marriage is? There isn’t a lab test or a thermometer that gives you a reading to tell you how you are doing. So, how do people know if their marriage is healthy or not?
Unfortunately, for some people, they have no idea what their own determining factors would be, say nothing about their spouse’s determining factors. Sometimes people are completely blown away when their spouse mentions divorce. They thought things were going just fine, but apparently their spouse didn’t. It is important to examine how you would know if your marriage is good or bad and to see if these things are in line with your spouse’s view of the relationship.
I’m Happy so It Must Be Good
Some people judge their marital satisfaction based on their happiness with their life in general. They think, “If I’m happy then my marriage must be good.” Their sources of happiness may be their work, extended family, or other external factors and they assume is going well.
We’re Weathering the Good Times and the Bad
Other people don’t think that happiness equates to marital satisfaction. Instead, they look for how they are handling the bad times. If they are taking the good and the bad and making it through together, they assume their marriage is in a good place. The general thinking is that if my spouse is here for me when I’m dealing with grief, tragedy and problems, we must have a good marriage.
We Have Fun Together
There are couples who really enjoy one another’s company and they like doing a lot of activities together. They gauge their marital satisfaction based on how much fun they are having. Going on fun dates, exciting vacations, and finding new adventures mean they are over all satisfied with their marriage.
We’re Accomplishing Things Together
Accomplishments can signal happiness for some people. They think that if they have children, a nice house, enough money, and all their goals are being reached, their marriage must be a good thing. They credit their success to having a good marriage and think things must be good if they are doing well.
Behavior or Feeling?
It’s important to take a look at whether you determine the health of your marriage based on feelings or behaviors. For some people, they just feel good, feel lovingly toward their spouse and feel their spouse loves them. For these people, they just feel like their marriage is good.
For others, it is based more on behaviors. If their spouse does the chores, buys them presents or gives them attention, they feel like their marriage is good. They also feel like the best way to show their love is to do things for their spouse.
Most people believe in determining the health of their relationship based on a combination of feelings and behaviors. For example, my marriage is good when we are helping each other and when we help each other, we feel more love between us. The good news is, you can behave lovingly even when you don’t feel like it and these behaviors can change how you feel.
Find Out Your Spouse’s Thoughts about Marriage Health
Find out your spouse’s definition of a healthy, satisfying marriage. You may find that it differs slightly from yours. Men and women’s brains work differently. They think and feel things in different ways. So therefore, their definitions of a successful relationship may vary.
Ask your spouse’s opinion on the current state of your marriage. Don’t let your spouse get away with something like “it’s alright.” Find out what that means. Ask what a great marriage looks like.
Set Goals for Yourselves
Once you compare notes on the state of your marriage, discuss what types of things would make your marriage better. These can be small things, like “kissing me goodnight” or “greeting me when I come in the door.” Try to set some goals for yourselves that are realistic and obtainable.
Identify one small thing you can start doing for your spouse regularly that would make your spouse feel like the marriage was better. Offer one thing your spouse can do for you. Keep communicating about the state of your marriage and how healthy or unhealthy you feel it is and make adjustments as necessary.
- See more at: http://marriagecounselingblog.com/marriage-counseling/how-do-you-determine-the-health-of-your-marriage/#more-8947

Why Are Second Marriages A Big Deal

The idea of second marriage has still not found acceptance in the Indian society. Despite so many campaigns creating awareness about remarriages, just a mere reference of it gives rise to so many questions.

It really puzzles me as to why the term 'second marriage' or 'remarriage' is considered to be a taboo. Everybody has the right to live their lives, so why aren't they free to take their own decisions. It is not easy to live a life all alone.

I have seen so many elderly couples, where if one of them dies it becomes very difficult for other one to survive because their children get so busy in their own works that they rarely get time to spend with him or her.

There have been many young couples whose marriages didn't work and they ended up parting ways or one of the two die in unfortunate incident, leaving the other one all alone.

There indeed comes a time when every human being requires companionship at some point in their lives so what's the harm in them getting married again.

Women in India are brought up in such way that they are made to believe that their life starts and ends with their husbands and they have to dedicate their whole life to them, even after their death.

And if by chance the woman expresses a desire to remarry they are looked down upon. It is assumed that she has betrayed her husband, which is ridiculous.

If someone desires to remarry it doesn't mean he or she has forgotten their spouse. It is high time that such mentality is changed Though the thinking is slowly changing but India still has a long way to go.

6 Truths About Being A Second Wife

1. I never expected to be a second wife. No one does; no little girl longs to grow up and walk down the aisle to the strains of "Here Comes the Second Bride, All Dressed in an Ivory Suit."  But here I am, married to a man who was married before. I am the grown-up woman he married as a grown-up man. We have an ordinary life. It’s not a series of glittering evenings drinking martinis in smoky bars. Instead it is the familiar routine of waking to an arm around your waist, the companionable bathroom talk with mouths full of toothpaste, and the idea that someone will know if you don’t make it home at night. Yet even though we have gallopped past our twentieth year of marriage, I am still considered The Second One by certain of our acquaintances. Go figure.
2. Not many people like a second wife. Not the wives of college friends, not old relatives who can't remember new names but who remember that they shelled out good money for a fancy gift the first time around, and especially not the original wife, who thinks of herself as the bona fide wife. But when a man marries for the second time he knows what he's getting into. He enters willingly, eyes open, arms spread--he's the emotional version of a skydiver. Emerging broken, bruised and bleeding from a previous fall when the parachute didn’t quite open, he is nevertheless willing to do it again and at an even greater risk-- everyone knows second marriages are risky. The surprise is this: when the moment comes, the man jumps with alacrity.
3. So why is the phrase “second wife” so unnerving? When even used-car dealers don’t regard themselves as purveyors of second-hand merchandise, when second-hand clothes stores are now consignment shops, why should I stick with the second-wife moniker? It’s not like I wasn’t married before, too. My husband is as much a second husband as I’m a second wife. In part, this is due to the fact that there is still a contingent for which a marriage without children is only slightly more honorable than a series of one-night stands. Yet we make as felicitous a stepfamily as you are likely to find.
4. Being a second wife and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set of aerial maneuvers. There are seriously complicated stunts involved-- trapeze artists have less difficulty in learning when to disappear and resurface at exactly the right moments than your average second wife. And there remains a slight sense of imbalance. His first marriage counted. My first marriage--even though it lasted five years--did not. During my final two years in my first marriage, I was constantly telling my friends how I wanted to make my relationship work. Then I learned that marriages aren’t like cars, independent of the people in them, to be fixed according to an owner's manual.
5. I realized, several years after I remarried, that one of my oldest friends never quite forgave me for getting on with life after my divorce. Treating me with the resentment of a union official watching a house being constructed with non-union labor, my erstwhile friend watched me build up and remodel my life. She has never absolved me from the sin of being happy.
6. To sum up: I am married to a man I love and am lucky. We’d both been married before, but does that really matter?  Should second wives post billboards proclaiming that we are not necessarily women who flounce through life wearing ankle bracelets, feather boas, and alligator shoes? As some statistics have it, we are one in every four married women you will meet. Yet we have to shake off the stigma attached to being The Second Wife and say, with a smile, “Yes indeed, I’m his second wife. But I’m his last.”

Second Marriage: Wedding Rules have Changed for Encore Brides

Is this your second marriage? Wedding rules for encore brides have changed. Second weddings tend to be smaller than first weddings – and oftentimes, they’re more personalized. Couples marrying for the second time are old enough to know exactly what they want. Many of them have done the big wedding thing, and prefer to celebrate with only close friends and family. Besides, they have different priorities. Many of them have careers, homes, kids, and they no longer feel pressured by their families – or society in general – to have a traditional wedding.

 For a couple entering into a second marriage, wedding plans aren’t necessarily less elaborate. Many encore brides and grooms pull out all the stops for their second ‘I do’s.
If you are planning a 2nd wedding, here are some things to keep in mind:
• If you want to wear a traditional white wedding gown, go for it. The ‘no white’ rule has been abolished.
• Registering for gifts is perfectly acceptable. If you already have all the household items you need, consider setting up a honeymoon registry at www.thebigday.com.
• If you are divorced and want to have a church wedding, check with the cleric well before your wedding date to make sure the church permits 2nd weddings. If you get turned away, try a nondenominational minister.
• Consider a destination wedding. They are a popular option for 2nd weddings.
• If you have kids, involve them. This is a great way to prevent them from feeling alienated and to help them get excited about your nuptials.
For couples entering a second marriage, wedding plans often include children. Here are just a few ideas to get children involved:
• Encourage kids to offer input on wedding-day decisions. This will make them feel part of the process. Ask for input on everything from the wedding day music to the favors.
• If kids are artistic or into crafts, have them make favors, place cards, invitations or wedding programs. Also have kids help decorate the venue.
• A young girl can serve as flower girl or ring bearer, while a young boy can serve as ring bearer.
• Preteens could serve as junior bridesmaids or junior ushers. A teen or adult could serve as bridesmaid, groomsman, usher, maid of honor or best man.
• Have a child give a reading or a speech if s/he desires.
• If a child is musical have him or her perform during the ceremony or reception.
• Don’t force kids to take a role. Ask them if they would like to participate, and if so what they would like to do.

Second Wedding Dress

You may have been a fan of the poofy princess-style dress the first time you got married, but for  second weddings, gowns tend to be more simplified and less ornate. The best part about wedding-dress shopping the second time around is that you won’t be easily influenced by what others want (something first-time brides often give in to) – this time, you know that your wedding is all about you so you’ll choose a dress based on what you and you alone love.
With second weddings, brides can think outside the standard white box and opt for a dress that has some colour and is mid-calf length. While having the long, awe-inducing train may have been important to you at your first wedding, the encore bride doesn’t tend to have a train to her dress at all. You may have also worn a beautiful veil – second-wedding brides, however, usually opt for something less dramatic and formal, like a birdcage veil or small hat. There are also beautiful options for headpieces that include feathers and glitzy jewels. You can even choose to wear a stunning suit instead of a dress if you’ll be more comfortable.
The best part of wedding-dress shopping for second weddings is that there are no rules. No one is going to gasp if you don’t wear white (or if you do), you don’t have to feel obligated to wear a family heirloom gown, and you don’t need to go with all the formalities (front-and-back veil, elaborate coif, fancy shoes, or something old, something new. Go with something that suits you, whether it’s a shorter pale yellow dress, free-flowing locks or bare feet!

My Second Marriage Will Not End In Divorce

When I got married the first time, I did it because sure, I was in love with my husband-to-be. But I was also in my late 20s and all my friends were getting married too. I wanted the things that I thought marriage guaranteed: love, intimacy, security, and children.
I got the children. Because of them, I'll never say that I shouldn’t have gotten married the first time. But looking back, I know that ultimately, my ex-husband and I weren’t suited for each other. Not by a long shot.
After I got divorced, I was in no hurry to get into another relationship. I had my kids, a job I enjoyed, and good friends. Plus I wanted to have fun, play the field a little, and have casual sex. So when I did finally start dating again, I knew exactly what I didn't want in a boyfriend, and later, a husband.
Plus, the only real reason to get married a second time was to live happily ever after with a true partner whom I was madly in love with. I found that with my second husband. And then some.
Sure this marriage has its own set of circumstances, the most stressful being that we are a blended family. Which means that my husband lives with my teenaged kids most of the time. And his teen daughter comes to stay with us every other weekend and half of the holidays.
And that's not always easy, but after almost seven years, we’ve pretty much got it worked out. And in a few years, the kids will be going away to college.
We'll be left with just each other. I can't wait.

Being Married A Second Time

The Indian experience of a second marriage is still relatively uncommon. One blogger shares her experience with remarriage.
By Heart-crossings*
This is my experience with second marriage and it may not be true for everyone else. Ever so often, I find myself falling into the trap of “being owed happiness”. I waited long enough for this man, ergo, he must be the answer to all that ails me. Why must I still be expected to work on finding my own happiness or put forth the effort to make the relationship a happy one? It is as if the long, frustrating and often hopeless waiting to get to this state entitles me to happiness without any further ado.

The insecure child
We have only one child (mine) between the two of us, so I have it a lot easier than couples who marry for the second time and need to bring many kids together. Even so, there are challenges and complications due to the presence of a child. Mine was acutely insecure for several months into our marriage. On the one hand, she had this compulsive need to ensure that my husband had what it took to keep me happy but on the other, when she saw us happy together she grew afraid of losing her mother to a relative stranger. The two forces worked in equal and opposite directions bringing a great deal of stress into the family. It took a lot of reassurances from both of us and demonstrating to her that her position in my life had not diminished in any way to alleviate that insecurity.

On the one hand, she had this compulsive need to ensure that my husband had what it took to keep me happy but on the other, when she saw us happy together she grew afraid of losing her mother to a relative stranger.

Losing friends
Both my husband and I have shed several friendships in the wake of our marriage. On his end, this were friends that felt compassion or pity for him because he was floundering partner-less without direction in life. By inviting him into their families, they got an opportunity to feel better about themselves and rejoice in their superior standing in life. This pity-fest had been going on for years and all at once my presence ended it.
I had been a feel good project for several of my girlfriends – married and single. They could do little things to help me out, reduce the burden of my responsibilities as a single mom without inconveniencing themselves seriously. By ceasing to be single, I had taken away their opportunity to be Good Samaritans and they were quick to dump me as well. The result is that we are relatively friendless, in need of building a social life all over again and the very idea is irksome.
The parental equation
We have found out that parents get used to us being single and dependent on them a lot more than we would have otherwise been. As much as they would like for lives to return to normalcy and for us to find a life partner, they are often unable to relinquish what they had from us in the years past. My mother for instance ran my household like it was her own, without any interference from anyone. I was too desperate (and grateful) for the help to question her authority. She is now failing to recognize that her role has changed and she needs to play a very minor part in my family.
Communication hiccups
We both expect the other person to communicate clearly what they want. Yet for the smallest things to take so much back and forth tires us out. We have the social roles and responsibilities of a couple with a ten year old child, when the marriage is not even two years old. What would come naturally to a couple of our vintage, takes a lot of doing for us to accomplish. With that, small tasks become Herculean efforts and we are both left emotionally exhausted. With so much energy expended in setting appropriate expectations for mundane things, we have none left to work on cementing the relationship – it inevitably gets pushed to the back-burner.

We have the social roles and responsibilities of a couple with a ten year old child, when the marriage is not even two years old.

Feeling normal
I never subscribed to the idea that a single person or a single parent is any less or different from a married person. I would go out of my way to prove to myself that I was alright and that my child was not being deprived of a “normal” life. Yet, there was always this nagging sensation of being an outsider to normal (in my case suburban) society. I had nothing in common with the stay-at-home PTA moms. I still have very little in common with them but having a husband affords me a small entry into their world.
Similarly, having a child makes it easier for my husband to be the “regular” daddy when they go run errands together or play tennis. He does not have to be the guy that comes alone to brunch every Sunday – he has a ten year old to take along if he wanted to. Suddenly the waitresses are all smiles and friendly – he is welcome into the “normal” fold. Normalcy is a pretty big deal for someone who has been on the fringe for as long as we have.

Second Time Bride

As a second-time bride, I was more in tune with the commitment aspect of the nuptials. My husband and I wrote our own vows and recited them at our intimate ceremony. Not that this was unusual, but it was easier to focus on the meaning behind the words when I wasn’t distracted by lavish bridesmaid dresses and ornate flower bouquets or concerns about whether or not we’d make it to the reception in time for cocktail hour.

I think about my second marriage differently. It feels more permanent, especially since the first one wasn’t. And I so desperately want things to work, to be successful, for us to be happy. So there is a different level of commitment we share, an unspoken vow to stick with it – even when leaving seems like the easier way out.

I took more time deciding to get married the second time, too. There was no rush masked by expectations to do certain things at a certain age. We waited until we were sure, even though I suspect our certainty came long before the proposal.

Because of that, I had the best of both worlds when it came to the wedding. My first was saturated by all the glamour and glitz that a girl from Long Island expects with her nuptials– even though I always felt much of the material aspect of the ceremony was more for status and expectations than what I really wanted. The second time, we had a quaint outside reception preceded by the cozy wedding ceremony along a creek at a state park I had never even visited before.

What Do Women Want From Men

You are gifted with killer looks and attractive personality. Bingo! But hey, is that enough to be a woman’s Mr. Right? It is obvious that women get attracted to handsome men very easily but are looks the only criterion to select a man for a life-time commitment? NO! There are other attributes that are equally and generally more important than looks, when a woman is seeking her Mr. Right for the purpose of marriage.
What Do Women Want From Men?

• A Sense Of Maturity: Any woman would prefer a man who is mature and sensible. After all, in the long run he will be the head of the family. He will run the family and take important decisions. He must be mature and sensible enough so that he can be relied upon.

• Understanding: Woman always like understanding men. A man who understands the needs and desires of the woman in his life will definitely be a promising husband.

• Respectful: A woman likes a man who can respect her. Men who judge women with their gender render a chauvinistic image and are a NO for contemporary women.

• Financially Independent & Stable: If she has to spend her life with him, he has to be financially independent & stable. It is not important to be stinking rich, but yes financial stability and independence facilitate a smooth livelihood.

• Honesty & Transparency: One thing a woman can never compromise with is, the loyalty of her husband. A man should be honest to his partner. He must also be transparent enough to share his problems and issues with her. A woman likes to be her husband’s friend. He must trust her and be 100% honest to her.

They say women are very difficult to understand. They also say that women can never be satisfied, but, if you love her unconditionally and remain by her side irrevocably, she will endure all the good and bad that you give her. She can be your friend if you want her to be. So, respect her, understand her and never be dishonest to her- you will automatically be her Mr. Right!

Living A Blissful & Happy Second Marriage.

The notions about marriages have changed drastically over the years. The stigma attached to being a divorcee has almost dwindled and people are not embarrassed to commit that if they do not find the right partner first time, they would be happy to opt for a second alliance. Life is like a journey where one makes mistakes and then learns from them. If you too felt that your last marriage was a bit of drama or may be a happy disaster, then here are some tips on how you can save your second marriage from a repeated disaster.
Friendship And Laughter: Friendship is the base of every relationship, be it with your parents, with your teacher or with your employer. Then why not become good friends with your spouse? Start by knowing each other. You can try watching some comedy movies together or try playing pranks on the annoying neighbor. If you two can joke and laugh together, congratulations you can be friends forever.
Quality Time: Every relationship needs time and if you don’t have time for your spouse it means your relationship has lost its meaning. In your marriage you would find many unavoidable circumstances like heavy work load at office and responsibilities of children, but you would have to learn how to balance your life and take out some quality time to spend with your partner.  You can go out every weekend rather than bringing work at home. May be you can take up a job that requires less of your time. You would have to set priorities!
Trust, respect & love:  Never let distrust creep into your marriage. It would only lead to fracas and endless arguments. The repercussions can be serious and you partner may lose all respect for you. It might be the case that your partner is a bit overly possessive in nature.  Human beings have their flaws and imperfections but when we love somebody we fall in love with their imperfections too. Compromise is important in a healthy relationship. If you think your partner is a bit jealous type, try avoiding doing things with opposite sex that makes your partner go green with envy.
Marriages may be made in heaven but these are arranged between two earthly people who have their set of weakness and imperfections. You probably gave up on your first marriage because you could not put up with your partner’s so called negative traits. So basically if you are able to compromise and live with your partners’ flaws you are all set for a happy second marriage.

The Glamour And Grandness Of Punjabi Wedding

Whenever we think of Punjabi wedding, the visuals of lavish decoration, loud music, unattended dancing, and sumptuous food immediately comes to our mind. This whole visual is itself a testament of the grand affair that the Punjabi weddings are. India is a land of different cultures and religion, and you can get a true glimpse of this vibrant culture in the wedding functions.
The pomp and show of the Punjabi Weddings are truly imbibed in different rituals and functions that culminate in the wedding. So, let us look at the pre-wedding functions of the Punjabi wedding:
The Glamour And Grandness Of Punjabi Wedding:

• Roka: This is an informal agreement and confirmation of the wedding between the families of the bride and groom. This function is usually performed at the bride’s place involving puja and exchange of gifts and sweets.

• Sagan or magni: This is the biggest function that happens before wedding. It is an engagement ceremony where the bride and groom exchange rings with each other. This function again is followed by exchange of gifts between the families of the bride and groom-to-be.

• Sagan or chunni chadana: At this occasion, the sister-in-law of the groom-to-be presents chunni to the bride-to-be. She is then, fed with boiled rice and milk by her mother-in law. It is followed by a havan and Tika ceremony held for blessing the bride and groom.

• Sangeet: It is the time when the true Punjabi character comes out, and the whole bride and groom family enjoy themselves in the loud music and dancing. Punjabi sangeet is loud, colorful, cheerful, and full of life. It reflects the true character of Punjabis and their philosophy of living life to the fullest.

• Mehendi: In this ceremony, the bride’s hands are decorated with beautiful henna designs. The henna is seen as a good ‘shagun.’ Even, the groom applies a little bit of Mehendi on his hand. The henna color connotes love and luck.

• Vatna: The ceremony is performed few days before the wedding. Vatna, a paste, made from turmeric, barley or chickpea flour, mustard oil and turmeric is applied on the bodies of the bride and groom-to-be. It follows a ritual bath performed in the presence of the respective families amidst the rhythms of traditional Punjabi wedding songs.

• Chuda Ceremony: This ceremony is performed at the maternal uncle’s place. The bride-to be is put on with a set of red and cream ivory bangles, also known as chuda. The chuda is a marriage symbol, which she can take out only after a fixed period. Also, a havan is performed by the priest to put iron bangle with shells and beads along with a mauli on the girl’s hand. The ceremony ends with the distribution of Prasad.So, these were the ceremonies that happen before the wedding takes place. There are many more that take place on the day of the wedding as well as after wedding. But, one thing is common about all these functions are that they all are full of life and celebration which is enhanced even more with dance and music.

Church Wedding in Christian Matrimony

Wedding is the most auspicious and important occasion in a person’s life which commemorates the mark of a new journey. This is the time when two indivuals, come together and vow to spend their lives together, as equals. Every religion has laid down a set of rules and tradition, according to which a marriage is supposed to begin and culminate.
Christian Matrimony takes place in a Church. The house of God is spectacularly decorated with ambers of beautiful adornments, to celebrate the Marriage Ceremony held within it. Wedding in a Church is contingent upon the different sect to which the bride and groom belong. For example, a Marriage between roman catholics is slightly different as compared to marriage between protestants.
Christian Marriage Ceremony
Christian Marriage in a Church begins with the bride and groom, standing in front of the Priest, appealing to the Lord Jesus Christ, to bless upon their marriage. In Christian Matrimony, rings are exchanged and vows are read to each other, following with the Priest deems them husband and wife. During the Marriage Ceremony, the couple take their vows and consequently bound their lives together by agreeing, “To take each other, in sickness and in health, till death do us apart.”
Rituals in Christian Marriage Ceremony
Prior to the Marriage Ceremony, the priest sits with the bride and groom, and discusses with them about the procedures and rituals that will be followed in the Church. For this purpose, the priest reads Scriptures from Bible, pertaining to marriage to enlighten the couple about its true meaning. In Christian Marriage Ceremony, the parents of the couple are always seated on the front, as a sign to discern their importance at the wedding. The groom always enters first in the Church. In a Christian Marriage ritual, the father of the bride brings her to the altar, and gives her hand to the groom. A brief reading from the Bible takes place, following which vows and rings are exchanged.
Legal Documents required for Church Wedding in Christian Matrimony
Every Wedding needs to have the stamp of governmental approval, without which the marriage would stand void. In a Church Wedding in Christian Matrimony a copy of identity cards of both the bride and groom, copy of their baptism certificate, a copy of their birth certificates along with certificate of faith issued by the local government in the country of origin needs to be submitted. These documents need to have a validity of six months or more.
In conclusion, Weddings in Church are always pre booked and the date and time for the same is allotted by the priest of the Church, in accordance with availability and space of the Church. Church Wedding, in all its glory and grandeur, is the most wonderful experience in the lives of two individuals, who wish to enter the conjugal journey

Sikh Wedding, A Boisterous Event

A Sikh Wedding is always a fun filled occasion for the guests. It is a colourful and boisterous event like most other Indian weddings. But the only difference lies in the traditions and rituals of a Sikh Wedding. It is good to know about the basic rituals of a Sikh Wedding so that you do not look unprepared. If you have never attended a Sikh Wedding and are invited to one then read on further to get prepared for this religious and grand occasion.
The Wedding Ceremony
Basically a Sikh Wedding is a daytime event, and it is long one. The ceremonies start early in the morning and can last till late in the evening. It is advisable to take good rest in the previous day so that you remain fresh and active in all the ceremonies.
The ceremony starts with the religious ceremony of Anantkaaraj in Gurudwara where the bride and groom are married as their souls are merged with each other in the presence of god. Many prayers and songs are recited during this ceremony that fills your heart with deep feelings of spirituality and love. This ceremony lasts for about an hour.
What to Wear?
During a Sikh Wedding ceremony, it is mandatory for men and women to cover their heads and remove their shoes. Traditional dresses are worn by everyone. While women wear bright colour suits or sarees, men wear kurta pyjamas. Wearing of short or revealing dresses is strictly prohibited. If you are a foreigner and do not have a traditional dress then you can take a shawl or scarf to cover your shoulders and head.
Lunch
After this ceremony the guests are taken for lunch. While traditionally the lunch is held within the Gurudwara and is known as Langar. Modern Sikh Weddings organise lunch outside the Gurudwara. The lunch is splendid and scrumptious as many authentic food dishes are present. You will definitely enjoy the rich and flavourful Indian food.
All in all a Sikh Wedding is a very spiritual and enjoyable event. After the wedding ceremonies are complete the families and friends of the bride and the groom celebrate this vibrant event. People dance on the beats of the DJ and enjoy themselves thoroughly.

What Do Women Want?

With patience and understanding a man can achieve more than he ever can with diamonds.
What are norms for a woman are exceptions for a man. After a woman marries she is required to go live with her husband and his family. That is the norm. If a man does this, that is an exception. That’s due to the prevailing tradition.
But what is often missed is another side of this tradition: marriage gives a man a new stature, a stature that embodies everything his wife leaves behind in her parental home: her mother, father, her siblings and all the comforts that she is used to while growing up. Her husband now signifies a trust that she places in him to make her feel at home in the new environment and in her new role.
Men often complain that women marry them for what they were and then spend the rest of their housewifely years trying to change them to what they want them to be. Can’t blame women. Women evolve with time.  Men have to change in concert to maintain the delicate balance that is intrinsic to happy marriages.
And as for the woman marriage brings about a transformation: from a carefree young woman to wife, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, mother and one who is required to live up to myriad expectations.
However we live in the real world. In the real world often the pieces don’t fall in place. The husband may on occasions fall short of his unwritten commitments. On occasions the wife is not able to live up to expectations. More often than not the reason for this is the clutter and confusion of professional and family life.
This is especially true in the case of women; they have so many roles to play. Besides this women have to contend with mood swings that are hardwired to their biological makeup. This could happen every month at fixed intervals. This could happen with every rise and fall of estrogen levels.
When life becomes hectic and moods swing for no apparent reason, women need help. And who better to give it to them than the husband. And often this help takes the form of patience, understanding, appreciation and honesty.
Merely by listening to his wife a husband shows that he cares. By appreciating her new hairstyle or telling her how good she looks in the new salwar he lets her know that she is still the focus of his attention. By being honest with her – even in tricky situations – he encourages her to be open with him.